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MONEY

WHAT IT IS
HOW IT WORKS

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Ode to Money

The Rich Man

The rich man has his motor car,
His country and his town estate.
He smokes a fifty-cent cigar,
And jeers at fate.

He frivols through the livelong day,
He knows not Poverty her pinch.
His lot seems light, his heart seems gay,
He has a cinch.

Yet though my lamp burns low and dim,
Though I must slave for livelihood --
Think you that I would change with him?
You bet I would.

                          Franklin P. Adams


    Money

    Workers earn it,
    Spendthrifts burn it,
    Bankers lend it,
    Women spend it,
    Forgers fake it,
    Taxes take it,
    Dying leave it,
    Heirs receive it,
    Thrifty save it,
    Misers crave it,
    Robbers seize it,
    Rich increase it,
    Gamblers lose it,
    I could use it.

                         Richard Armour

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Taking Profits

 They say that when a stock price drops,
It's due to "profit taking".
Well taking profit's really tops,
Since that means money-making.

Let's hope next time stock prices fall
They do so most emphatically.
We'll make more money after all,
And do it automatically.

                           WFH


.How to Invest

 Investment hints we've heard aplenty
Almost none are worth a try,
But there's one the cognoscenti
Can't ignore: "Buy low, sell high".

                                  WFH


My Friend the Broker

I kept my dough in a safe CD
Until this broker called on me.
He had some red hot stocks to sell,
And now he's doing very well.

He taught me real investor smarts
Like head and shoulders on the charts.
I learned all sorts of fine techniques,
But still I'm buying at the peaks.

I tried some bets on shopping malls;
I played the options - puts and calls;
The dough is going quick and snappy;
My friend the broker seems quite happy.

To recoup my losses, if you please,
He put me in commodities.
I bought contracts in corn and beans;
I should have cranked on slot machines.

My bank account is now too thin
For me to trade the Honda in.
I've had it since the early Eighties;
My friend just bought a new Mercedes.

                                                 WFH

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